What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Is it still wrong to spread misinformation even if it's only to troll people rather than harming them?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

TEXT:

Forget Commander, Clive is the core of my new MTG Final Fantasy standard deck - wargamer.com

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

My ex got into a relationship within 2 weeks after a breakup. What should I do?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Republicans, why do you support Kamala Harris over Donald Trump?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

The stage is set for Sunday drama at the US Open as Sam Burns leads Adam Scott and J.J. Spaun by one stroke - CNN

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

3 No-Brainer AI Stocks to Buy Right Now - Yahoo Finance

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Why is the word "democracy" not in the preamble of the US Constitution?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

How many couples swap wives?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why have feminists not demanded that females be required to register with the selective service? Are female lives more precious than male lives?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What is your craziest/worst Halloween story?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Is The Last of Us Part 2 really as woke as people say it is?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!